This is the last night that 37 will be my buddy. When I wake in the morning I will magically be connected to 38. No different than tonight, and yet never the same.
The number itself is just a marker of what is. And yet it is somehow symbolic of so much more. It is easy to use our age as a highlighter to mark all the things not done, the goals not achieved and all that isn’t in our lives. I refuse to make this a post of those things. They do not need any more attention, and so the delete key will be my friend. I will use that key until 37 and I are able to comfortably part ways.
So as I am preparing to say goodbye to 37, and a “why, hello there” to 38, how am I feeling? I am feeling grateful and strong and hopeful and creative and inadequate and weak and teary. Normal? I certainly hope so.
Reflections of 37:
– I learned that gratitude is a life changer
– I learned that daily practice has real power
– I learned that my body will bite back if I don’t nurture it
– I learned the importance of being able to Believe
– I learned that it’s OK to ask for help
– I learned that there are things that cannot be “fixed”. They simply need to be accepted and loved. As they are
– I learned that Bayley has an amazing artistic talent
– I learned that Coby reminds me to be present and to look at and feel the world around us with him
– I learned that Tyben has a love of the physicality of our bodies and movement
– I learned that Sabrina is a sparkle in our family
– I learned that Dean is prepared to support me, even when he has nothing left
– I learned that I love to write
– I learned that things change so very slowly and in the blink of an eye
So 37, we’re done. The calendar says that we are no longer right for each other. A new playmate arrives tomorrow. I have learned so very much from you 37, and I thank you for that. I hope that 38 and I can dance and play together. 37, you were a bit serious.