It’s Never Enough

We’ve just passed the end of the financial year.  A time full of frantic paperwork and crazy retail sales.  Following the theme flowing around me, I sat down and did a review of our private finances yesterday, the 30th of June, 2012.

I was so pleased to see that we have made progress.  After a year that had some pretty difficult twists and turns I was really quite surpised to see that we were further ahead at the end of that twisty year than when we began.  Probably more importantly than the result itself (although that was nice to see) was the clean feeling I had when holding our finance folder.  It’s clean, clear of chaos, with controlled strategies that have been followed week in and week out.  Mostly 🙂

It hasn’t always been that way, and so, for a day, I kind of basked in a little self awarded glory.  For getting our finances in order, working hard to be disciplined with our income (we’re both self employed) and our spending.  We even went out and had a little EOFY family celebration.

Because after all, our work (the way we use our time) and our money (the things we do and do not do and buy) has an impact on everyone in our family, not just Dean and I.  And we’ve all ended the year better off financially than we walked into it.

In this spirit of review and checking in, I decided to weigh myself this morning.  I don’t do it often and usually rely on my body and my clothes to tell me how I’m travelling.  I knew I’d been putting on weight over the last year, and had even bought up a size on a couple of items.  But the number I saw this morning, was not one I was expecting.  I probably stopped breathing, truth be told.

So now I have another thing to manage, monitor and improve.  And that makes me sigh, and think quite childishly, it’s just never enough, is it.

I made a pact to myself a few years ago that I was in this thing (my life) for the long haul, and that it would require a commitment to my own ongoing and never ending improvement to do that.  It was an idea that I was so sure of that I had it tattooed on me.  And yet often the child in me just wants to stand there and whine “Why do I have to do it?  I can’t do any more”.

Perhaps my job, Kathryn the 38 year old adult, is to take my child’s hand, and say “yes you can, I know you can”.  My child wants to just tantrum and get it all done quickly and easily (surely there’s some magic diet or detox that can help me drop those kilos) or just sit down with a huge bowl of icecream and point you to my other achievements.

Instead, I looked kindly at my child and told her we needed to do this the right way.  By agreeing to do more.  Stop the junk and convenience “food”, cook more meals and snacks, prepare more of our food from scratch and find the time for both Dean and I to exercise.  After all, without our health and our relationships, none of the marks on the financial report card matter.

Fortunately, my mum had given me a stand mixer a few weeks ago, which was sitting in the kitchen in a box.  Today I bought a food processor / juicer, and stopped off at the local IGA for some good basic food ingredients.  And so it begins.

Now to design a plan so that I can get back to a regular yoga practice and runs.

So please raise your glass (of water) to me doing more, in hope that I can become less.  And so much more.

K xxx


About Kathryn Hodges

Hi! I'm Kathryn. I have many hats in this life. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother (of 4!), a friend, a keen try-er of yoga, a lawyer, a business owner, an avid reader and a lover of this electronic world and it's connections. As the Principal of a wonderful law firm on the Sunshine Coast, Qld, Australia, I focus on seeing my clients as people going through change and I am committed to practising mindfully that I am dealing with people and their families. Precious stuff, hey! I hope you enjoy learning more about the things that impact on me, my life and my practice. Please leave me a comment, as I'm sure you have something you can show or teach me. We're all in this learning thing, called life, together xx Oh, and my professional obligations mean I have to remind you that my opinions are my own.
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11 Responses to It’s Never Enough

  1. drcarls says:

    Hi Kathryn,
    Good on you re the financial gains…that will be me next year 🙂
    As for the weight, I am with you on that one, and have started tapping to figure out my self-sabotaging behaviours……you know the one, where I quite capably lose 5kg and then reward myself with junk and pile it all back on again 😉 xx

    • Kathryn Hodges says:

      Thanks Carla,
      Tapping is a great suggestion! Thanks, I’ll be doing that. For sure.
      Everytime I want a chocolate. Like RIGHT NOW!
      K xx

  2. shoesandyoga says:

    My one only good tip to you is this – earn your calories. In other words figure out what your daily intake is to be to maintain weight. To earn chocolate/alcohol etc you have to burn up twice what you want to consume to earn the right to eat it. One chocolate bar equals 3 hours of hard ass house cleaning < I checked 😉

    • Kathryn Hodges says:

      That is a good tip!
      I’ve always struggled with the direct calorie counting / exercise measure thing. Head trash – you know!
      That’s a good way of looking at it. And to think of it as a “twice” calculation is pretty confronting. And probably why I am where I am 🙂
      Let’s see where I am with this in 6 months!
      K xx

  3. rodneybukuya says:

    It’s amazing how often we let something slip while dealing with another issue.

    I have two trains of thought on this. One is that both problems are symptoms of a deeper problem and that effectively dealing with one symptom meant that you took your eye off the ball on another and you won’t be able to deal with both simultaneously until you deal with the underlying issue.

    A good coach may have a different idea, but to my untrained eye, it sounds as though the real problem isnt cashflow or weight control but discipline. Do you have other area’s of your life that become dis-satisfying to you if left untended? You’re even in a career that is all about rules. Is there a lesson you’re seeking?

    And that brings me to my second thought. If you buy into the idea that we’re all here to learn certain lessons in this lifetime, maybe you keep putting yourself on this see-saw to help learn those lessons.

    Like I said, I’m not trained in this area so I recommend you speak to someone that is.

    Just my 2cents

    much love, rod

    • Kathryn Hodges says:

      Thanks Rod,

      I’m so glad you ended your comment with love, bcs I went to a bit of a “well I’m pretty crap” space for a sec.

      I think that you, my never met in real life friend, have nailed it in one.

      I rail and fight against the discipline of life – and put myself smack back into a life that is completely consumed with rules and compliance.

      And yes, I must be searching for a lesson in those things. Q is – what lesson. To surrender to them and find the freedom within structured life, or ? I don’t know that there is an or.

      That was a wonderfully challenging comment and I thank you for it.
      K xxx

      • rodneybukuya says:

        It’s become amazing to me how many people are not in careers they want to be in but are there subconsciously for it’s lessons.

        I, like you, hate the ever increasing amount of rules, compliance and paperwork that is drowning our industry participants but at the same time there’s nothing I love more than sitting around a coffee table with someone and helping them work their way out of problems by sharing the knowledge acquired from a lifetime of learning from my own.

        I would do this for free, if only I didn’t need cash to put a roof over my head and food on my families table.

        There are some amazing examples of people finding careers to learn the lessons they didn’t get as children. Financial Planners like me, who came from a family without money. Accountants & Lawyers who grew up in families without rules or discipline. Personal Trainers whose family health was so bad that they were driven to find a solution for the people they loved.

        And of course my personal favourite, the child who grows up in a home where he or she feels like they have little to no control over their lives and join the Police force.

        The trick then, once we learn those lessons, is to untangle ourselves from that career and have the courage to move onto the next one without feeling like we’ve failed because we didn’t see it through to the end. Or whatever that’s even supposed to mean.

        much love, rod

      • Kathryn Hodges says:

        Wow. I think I see it. And it’s not thr paperwork and rules (they’re just to sh*t me).
        Mmmm musings for me.
        I have loved this conversation. Thanks Rod. Truly.
        K x

      • rodneybukuya says:

        as always

        much love

  4. sharonaheartspaceinspired says:

    Hey Kathryn, love that you ended the year in better shape than when you started, but love even more the awareness that has come to you…& that you wish to make a plan. Go for it girl, you know you can do whatever you set your mind to. xxx

    • Kathryn Hodges says:

      Thanks Sharon,
      I plan on following my heart back to where my body wants to be.
      Sounds easy when I say it like that!
      K xxx

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