The inspiration for this post arrived in a flash. Well, not really a flash because that has bright and sparkly highlights. It was more of a grey mist at first. And from the mist, I write.
I was speaking with a senior colleague during the week. Someone who began their career in the law while I was still in nappies. Literally. He has seen more and done more law before I was even admitted, than I have in my career so far and is still working day in, day out for his clients. Inevitably, we ended up in the conversation about the hardness of our work and the ongoing stress and risks for those in our industry.
Somehow he took me to descriptions of him beginning to attend far too many funerals for Judges and colleagues (both older and younger). He spoke of seeing other colleagues at these events, “and you know what, Kathryn. There are too many that look like empty old men”. I heard him take a deep breath in and then let a sigh out, before these grey words were shared. “Mate, what if none of it matters”.
When I travel to the city for work, I see the tall commercial buildings rise before me. I often have visions of the little ant people busily moving their paperwork from here to there, and wonder if it’s a system of nonsense to keep us all busy, chained to it’s busy nothingness and away from life.
I knew these words had me, and needed a good airing away from the grey mist, so I could see what they were really made of.
At first I thought they were another reminder of things I have exposed before. The worries about work and energy and time being given to a system that is not beneficial. For anyone.
Fortunately I had another meeting with a similarly aged gentleman a couple of days later. He shared with me a wonderful view of life and the world. One focused on opportunities, on leaving the past behind, and following the call. He helped me to get those words out and away from the grey mist.
The words “what if none of it matters” are not sad, regretful, grey words. They are, in fact, bright and clear. Translucent even, with a glint that sparkles in the sunshine, like the first rays of sunrise. Imagine if, from that viewpoint, “none of it matters”.
Suddenly, opportunity abounds! If it’s going to be alright anyway, we can be free to follow our heart, our call. For some this will be an all or nothing call, for others it will be a sometimes call. And both are completely OK. Because, after all, none of it matters.