Life, involves birth and death. It just has to. And for those who are blessed enough, a whole lot of living in the middle.
I’ve spent a bunch of years surrounded by the birthing bit. It’s cool and painful and transforming and exciting and just everything amazing.
There’s obviously been my babies, which obviously, are the bestest babies ever!
Just look at them. Raw. Perfectly imperfect. Arrivals out of my control, in the hands of nature and the greater power of your choice.
Then friends and family have their babies, and so life seems to be all about births, babies, growth and growing up.
And then the busyness kicks in. Work. School. Organising home life. Relationships. Fitness. You know – life! Definitely the middle bit.
But what about the growing old. The getting sick. The end of life.
I feel like I’m not allowed to talk about it. Right now, there are some people close to me who are being drawn into this stage of life. And I need to talk about it, but I don’t know how.
My head tells me that it is normal. Life begins and it ends. It comes and it goes.
But how do I talk to the person facing Cancer to let them know I care, when in reality I can do nothing? And anything I haven’t done by now, is pretty much irrelevant. How do I talk to their family – or is saying “I’m sorry. I care” enough.
When I talk about these things, these people in my life, it’s like I should be consumed with sadness. I’m not, or not yet. Instead, I feel like I am suspended, in between the now and the tomorrow which seems to be taking shape. And a shape that is likely to involve … am I allowed to say it? Death. Funerals. Passing away. Passing on. Losing them.
I deal with death every week at work. With my usual professional distance. Where I can focus on paperwork and processes and outcomes.
It seems that life, in it’s wisdom, is about to show me that this understanding, this knowledge, is helpful but useless.
So I am moving from a life focussing on birth and babies, to life and living, in it’s full form. Including dying.
And so, it’s definitely life, but not as I know it.