Valentine’s Day : I like it better at almost 40

Dean and I have been together since August 1990, which has given us 24 consecutive Valentine’s Days with each other!

There could have also been a Valentine’s Day or 2 before that, as Dean and I were circling each other, doing the teenage dance of drama, even before we starting “going out” in August 1990.

Dean’s birthday is the 16th of February, and so from the very beginning, my sensible practical and beautifully different to me man has said “I’m not going to be a sucker for marketing” “Let’s not worry about Valentine’s Day, because we’ll be using extra money in a couple of days for my birthday anyway” and the many variations in between.

In our early years together, I thought “Let’s not worry about Valentine’s Day” obviously meant “I’m still going to surprise you with something” on Valentine’s Day.

It wasn’t until last night, that I finally told Dean a story about a rose from those years.

With the incredible completely all consuming “I think I’ll stop breathing if he even looks at me” teenage days of love, I had bought Dean a rose for Valentine’s Day.  I can’t remember the details of the night now.  All I do remember is that whatever happened showed me very clearly that he actually meant let’s not worry about Valentine’s Day when he said “let’s not worry about Valentine’s Day”, and he hadn’t surprised me with a rose, or chocolates or a card.

The only other thing I remember was me, crying hot angry tears at the end of the night while throwing that rose into the garden at home.

Needless to say, those early Valentine’s Days were a whole bunch of mis-match between my words “oh sure, doing nothing is fine by me” and my feelings “it’s not really fine at all”.

Fast forward 24 years or so, and I am now really ok with “let’s not worry about Valentine’s Day”. And yes, those words were exchanged in this home again this year.  And truly, I don’t want or need anything for Valentine’s Day.

So, yesterday imagine my surprise when Dean arrived at my office, to give me a quick kiss and these flowers

2014-02-14 16.33.57

and we popped out for a quick coffee together. It was lovely 🙂 .

We had spoken earlier in the week about grabbing some Indian takeaway on Friday and chilling out for Valentine’s night at home.

But, for this year, one surprise wasn’t all Dean had up his sleeve.

We still had our Indian takeaway, and yes, we did eat it at home.

But instead of the usual, in the lounge room, with a movie on the tv,

2014-02-14 19.48.34

he had us all set up, with candles on the back deck.

It was just lovely.

2014-02-14 19.42.44

The kids were entertaining themselves inside.  Outside, it was just us, eating, chatting, drinking, chatting, and then even more chatting until it was time to slide into sleeptime.

It was a gorgeous Valentine’s Day.

Who’d have thought that a Valentine’s Day on the cusp of my 40s, would be so much better than those from my youth.

Full of all of my favourite things, real life, simplicity, love and my family.

Thanks, Dean, for the million things you do for me, and for us, and for our family.

Happy Valentine’s Day, babe x

K xxx


About Kathryn Hodges

Hi! I'm Kathryn. I have many hats in this life. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother (of 4!), a friend, a keen try-er of yoga, a lawyer, a business owner, an avid reader and a lover of this electronic world and it's connections. As the Principal of a wonderful law firm on the Sunshine Coast, Qld, Australia, I focus on seeing my clients as people going through change and I am committed to practising mindfully that I am dealing with people and their families. Precious stuff, hey! I hope you enjoy learning more about the things that impact on me, my life and my practice. Please leave me a comment, as I'm sure you have something you can show or teach me. We're all in this learning thing, called life, together xx Oh, and my professional obligations mean I have to remind you that my opinions are my own.
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