One of the sideline benefits of preparing to turn 40, is that, slowly by slowly, piece by piece, I am really starting to get to know myself.
Not the me I want to be, or should be, or could be, but the me that I actually am.
The me who finds solace in tap tap tapping out letters, forming them into words, letting them combine together to make me a stairway out of my messy thoughts, and open up the truth of my world for me.
The me who often loses her footing, and cannot figure out which way is up or down. The me who finds that there is no better way to get grounded and stable on my feet again, than by standing in the always moving never predictable water of the ocean.
The me who is convinced that life is ours for the choosing, that we can and should demand happiness and fulfilment, but also looks for the familial loops that seem to show up over and over again regardless of the life we make.
The me who has an idea, hopes and dreams of getting it out into the world, then sees someone else has already done something similar, and thinks “oh well, that’s that then”. Even though I believe that everyone has their own special gift to bring to the world.
I really am a special kind of crazy, and boy, it’s getting more and more interesting the deeper and deeper I look inside.
Thank goodness for the ocean. It shows me that tumbling around, coming in and going out, are all perfectly part of the dance of life. Otherwise, how on earth could this …..
Ever become this ….
Do you really know what brings out your crazy?
And stop worrying about whether or not we can see it … because sometimes it can be our very best bit 🙂