On Friday I was in the throes of a potentially life threatening attack.
The attack of the
official Killer Sore Throat.
I was tired, after all the drama of a busy work week, where we are trying to slide a full IT changeover in just as mercury heads into retrograde.
Perhaps not the smartest choice ever made.
It was just so frustrating, that my body would let me down like this. After all, I have a busy BUSY time ahead. And for the first time in AGES I was ACTUALLY doing something FOR my body. Sorry about the ALL CAPS but CRANKY!
A couple of weeks ago, I started an at home yoga practice. I cannot seem to get back into a weekly yoga session, even though I know how great I feel when I do yoga regularly.
I am doing an online course run by the amazingly gentle Marianne Elliott called 30 Days of Yoga. It is a course designed to help build a daily at-home yoga practice and I am loving it!
So, after doing my daily yoga for 2 weeks now, I was being attacked. By my own throat. It was all Soooooo unfair.
On Friday night I was sitting at basketball, waiting to collect the teen. And I think this moment captures it.
Cranky. Tired. Frustrated. Feeling every single time I swallowed that it was a battle between my very happiness and the Killer Sore Throat.
After all, I couldn’t afford to get sick. Computer issues at work are likely to consume me. Work is busy BUSY busy. My amazing assistant is about to go on leave. CUE HYSTERIA RISING.
I could feel everything in me getting tight as I prepared for the battle. After all, how was I going to continue my yoga practice if I needed to treat myself as sick? How was I going to get my work done if I was battling a sore throat or worse.
But, what if, taking to my battle stations against the Killer Sore Throat, might actually make it stronger?
Have you ever had that vague feeling that sometimes the things we fight can actually take a stronger form because we have expended energy on them, instead of deflecting them and focusing on something, anything, else that feels better.
It seems now, that the beautiful messages from Marianne Elliott to be compassionate and to treat ourselves with kindness, were sinking in.
And so, I chose to try surrender.
I did my best to move from feeling the need to defeat the Killer Sore Throat, instead to quietly accept that it was here.
After all, the Killer Sore Throat was really just a sore throat. I could use hot water + lemon juice + honey to give me some ease and otherwise I would just carry on as normal.
So instead of setting myself up for a “sick” day, I went to bed Friday night and set my 5.30am alarm. I still woke up early, and did my yoga practice as I had intended to do. I then packed myself up for a full day of work and headed away from home and over to the office on the Saturday on a long weekend.
And you know what?
I don’t know if it was the yoga (probably) but there was definitely something magic in the air on the way to work. It was like the sky was more blue, the birds were singing clearly and the water was sparkling so beautifully as I drove along.
I couldn’t help but stop quickly, and allow myself to slip right into that moment, even if it was just for 2 minutes.
Just look at THAT!
After my 2 minutes, I headed on over to my office, and did what needed to be done.
I kept the ease of the hot water + honey + lemon going, and slowly the Killer Sore Throat has been retreating.
Right now, I have a bit of a glitchy throat, and any threat of imminent death has evaporated.
I have done 2 days of work to combat the week(s) ahead and I began each of those days on the yoga mat.
After working in a competitive perfection driven industry for 20 years or so, it would be easy to simply continue to try to take it “up a gear”.
Instead, I am finding it takes a deliberate choice to choose kindness. To look at adversity with compassion and to simply carry on with daily life. I know that a sore throat is not something that is true “adversity”, but I have a sense that there is a deep truth within the words that all things are everything.
Have you had any magical moments this week?