Back Where it Belongs

Last weekend I did a little time trip until the end of July.  Well, kind of.

I pretended it was my sister Bronwyn’s first wedding anniversary and gave her a special gift.  Although it was a gift, it was really making sure that something ended up back where it belongs.

Back in 2011, when Mum turned 60, my 2 sisters and I chipped in together and bought Mum a ruby pendant. I’m pretty sure that it was Bronwyn who did the work of selecting it, and if I listen to my intuition, I suspect she did a whole lot more “chipping in” than Suzie and I did.  But I know for Bronwyn that never mattered.

Anyway, it is a beautiful pendant.  Pretty, with lots of stones.  Just right.

When Bronwyn got engaged, we all just knew that Mum would lend that pendant to Bronwyn so she could wear it on her wedding day. And she did.  And it looked amazing.

IMG_2236

Just perfect, and it suited Bronwyn so very well, and allowed to physically carry a piece of her MotherLove (that’s what she often called Mum) with her during her special day.

Then, just 2 months later, we were sitting in Mum & Dad’s bedroom doing the unthinkable. Dividing up her jewellery. Because Mum had died. And while some families wouldn’t do that straight away, we all knew that Mum wanted the three of us to share in her jewellery. In fact, it was so important to her that she has made us each take one ring a few years earlier.

Anyway, we sat with Mum’s jewellery, our faces wet and our eyes raw and sore from crying the tears of true heartache and loss, and did what she wanted us to do.

I received Mum’s eternity ring and her ruby pendant. Mum had already given me her replacement wedding ring in the earlier round of “I want you girls to have my jewellery”.

Initially, I wasn’t sure about the eternity ring, but I wore it. Feeling so blessed to have  piece of Mum so close to me, and I initially I loved it just for that.

It is a simple ring, with 2 blue stones (MY favourite colour) and I haven’t gone a day without them so far.

Mum's rings

I love them and imagine I will be wearing them forever.

The pendant, though was never really a good fit.  It was a bit pretty. A bit fancy. Just not quite what I would wear.

Pendant on me

But, because my Mum had died, and it had been “left to me” I wore it anyway. I felt a little bit like I had to, or that I should.  It wasn’t right to leave it in my jewellery box never seeing the light of day.

Early on, I tried to give it to Bronwyn, but neither she nor I were in the right space.  Looking back, I just felt so bad for her, because she seemed to be so very broken by Mum’s loss.  And I think I secretly hoped that if I gave her just one more special thing of Mum’s it might help her to find her way.

Which it never would have. But in sad and upsetting times, we do what we think will help. Even if we know it won’t.

Anyway, the months have rolled on now, and I have continued to tussle with the pendant. Never quite feeling like it should be with me, but if I had it, wanting to enjoy it.

I was feeling stuck about it, and turned to one of my soul sista’s. In a flash she said “Why don’t you give it to Bronwyn for her anniversary”.

P.E.R.F.E.C.T.

I knew it immediately.

And so, pretending that her anniversary was here, when Bronwyn was down here with us last weekend, I gave her the pendant. Not because she was upset and I needed to feel like I was helping her. Not because I wasn’t going to wear it.

But simply because I was making sure it was back where it belongs.

Finally, I am at peace with the pendant.

And I’m sure Mum would be thrilled.

K xxx

 

 

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About Kathryn Hodges

Hi! I'm Kathryn. I have many hats in this life. I am a daughter, a sister, a wife, a mother (of 4!), a friend, a keen try-er of yoga, a lawyer, a business owner, an avid reader and a lover of this electronic world and it's connections. As the Principal of a wonderful law firm on the Sunshine Coast, Qld, Australia, I focus on seeing my clients as people going through change and I am committed to practising mindfully that I am dealing with people and their families. Precious stuff, hey! I hope you enjoy learning more about the things that impact on me, my life and my practice. Please leave me a comment, as I'm sure you have something you can show or teach me. We're all in this learning thing, called life, together xx Oh, and my professional obligations mean I have to remind you that my opinions are my own.
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7 Responses to Back Where it Belongs

  1. Vanessa moore says:

    Well done and it’s so great that a piece of love, that’s what jewellery gifts are for me, has gone home. Well done xoxoxo

  2. Vanessa moore says:

    Oh and did I say well done! Lol I just got out of bed, read this and realised I said it twice in my reply! I’m so happy for you, I got carried away…….xooxoxo

    • Kathryn Hodges says:

      Oooohhh THANK you for the inspired words!!

      It just feels so right.
      K xxx
      Ps. I hope you have had another coffee since then 🙂

  3. Beautiful story about trusting your intuition, Kathryn. Wonderful that you found the right opportunity to pass the pendant back where it belonged. xxx

    • Kathryn Hodges says:

      Thanks Belinda,

      And you’re spot on. It needed to be the right opportunity.

      Thanks for taking the time to comment!
      K x

  4. Di says:

    A beautiful post Kathryn and a reflection of the special person you are… jewelery is such a personal and emotional thing.. and it really does feel like you are sharing part of that person and it does carry their energy.
    Two of my instances… I wear a gold bracelet above my elbow that Mum had had since the earl 1920’s ans she wore on her wedding day in 1928. I never take it off.
    And my late husbands wedding ring I wore on a chain for a year until my son got married and he asked if he could wear and have his Dad’s ring. It felt so right, it is exactly where it is supposed to be.
    Thank you for reminding me. Much love and hugs Di xx

    • Kathryn Hodges says:

      I wholeheartedly agree, Di.
      I have always felt that there was a piece of the energy of the “giver” when I have received jewellery from my family in the past.
      I hope that Bronwyn feels every bit of Mum that she needs, whenever she wears the pendant. x
      K xxx

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